As I started my Handstand Challenge for May (basically I have been practising handstand everyday and post on Instagram and Facebook for the whole May), I have been thinking a lot about falling.
I think one of the reasons I still can’t take my handstands off the wall is because the fear to fall… so I thought I would share some personal experience on this subject.
I have recently got my certification as a yoga teacher. A few weeks ago I was asked last minute to cover for a big group class for the Master Trainer (who has been teaching this technique for 10 years) on Anti Gravity yoga – the one when you hang people upside down on the hammock. Most students are on intermediate level, and some of them trained more intensively on this technique than me. I should be comfortable to teach that class as I have been teaching the beginner’s levels class and training quite intensively myself. But I think because I was covering the class for my Master Teacher I freaked out a bit, and was overthinking about how well I was going to teach the class. I screwed up a few things and let’s just say it didn’t went too well. When I finished the class I just said, “I knew you didn’t come to my class today, and you might be disappointed that you got me instead of my master teacher. And this is my first time teaching this class, so I really appreciate everyone’s patience with me today. Thank you for staying with me till the end”…. and moved on. I felt a little defeated, and embarrassed for sure. But because of the mistakes I made, I remembered them and would not make the same mistakes again. And because I realised I kinda sucked, I worked hard to make myself better.
I have been struggling with my handstands, and because of my “fear of falling” I cannot get myself off the wall. While I teach yoga at a cross fit gym most of my students are also doing the handstand practice, some of them probably better than I am… One of my student asked me, “Can you do a handstand off the wall?” No. I can’t. So do I teach? or not? I thought about it for a while, and decided I will still teach handstand, and I will tell them what I know, and I will practice with them. With the knowledge that I give them, some of them can hold their handstand off the wall way longer than I can, showing that they are probably much stronger than me. So what? We learn from each other, and I am not afraid to fail or fall in front of my students. I am not good at everything, but I think showing that I am “not afraid to fall” and would keep trying is the best attitude and lesson I can give to my student.
I have been training on Anti Gravity Fitness. Training myself using the hammock is a very interesting practice. I surprised myself everyday on what my body is capable of doing.
“Strength does not come from what you think you can do, but from overcoming what you used to think you cannot do”.
Don’t afraid to fall, and stay humble. And be tough. I. AM. A. HUMBLE. WARRIOR.
And of course… it’s time for me to get off the wall.. =)
Photo on the hammock by Beatice Lee Photography. See her work at http://www.beatricelee.com