Summer holiday is officially over as my children started school today.
My 6 year old son is not a kindergartener anymore. He is now in Grade 1. Big boy.
And finally my 3 year old is also at school, putting on her new school uniform and joined her brother at the same school.
I never put my daughter in a nursery I know most Hong Kong parents do… well… a lot of them start sending their babies to playgroup at 6 months old. However since I was a full time mother and with her brother at full day school I wanted to keep her with me longer so I could give her full attention. Another reason to that is because my elder one needs a lot more attention than his sister.
Six years ago I gave up my investment banking job to become a full time mother. For 6 years my life and schedule works around theirs. And they are my everything (and there is my husband, of course). But finally both of them are off. I can’t keep them next to me anymore. It was a really bitter sweet moment as I sent them off to school today.
Since last year I have been preparing myself for this moment. The moment that the house will be so quiet as I send both of them on the school bus. I was really freaking out. 6 years of disconnection to the outside world. What can I do next? It would be difficult to get back to the financial industry (and I wasn’t sure if I want to do that either…) But what can I do?
I am glad during the last few years I found my new passion – yoga. Yoga didn’t only improve my health and flexibility, it has also made me a better mother and wife. And it transformed my life so much that it had become my “next project”. For those who have read my blogs you knew that I am now a yoga teacher. However, until today I still looked at myself as a full time mother and a part time yoga teacher, slowing transitioning into my next stage. But today it really stroke me that “This is it!”. My full time mom life is over. I am the one who is having separation anxiety.
When I took her to school this morning, she didn’t even want me to hold her hand. She said she could walk up the stairs herself. She said she is now a big girl. When we got into the classroom she just joined her friends and played. No separation anxiety, not even a bye. I was sitting in the corner watching her played, socialised and felt almost overly comfortable and and I knew she is more ready than I am for this. The only time she looked “perplexed” was when we told her it was time to go home. And she said, “But I want to come back again!”.
As my little one starts her new chapter with such enthusiasm, curiosity and courage, it inspires me to take the same attitude on my new adventure as a yoga teacher. Thank you Zoe Anne. Today you showed me you are much braver than Mommy she facing your new adventure. I am super proud of you.
I am still feeling a little emotional, and a little lonely. But I am just going to hold my tears in and take a deep breath. I have a class to teach.